The EVURKWEST Series
The EVURKWEST Series
by: Mark Edward Linehan - aKa - Noah - 03/03/2005
The large ogre marched onward. Sweat beading on his massive forehead as he traversed the hills of Antonica. "Me tired walking." The big warrior grunted wiping sweat from his face.
"Yeah us too!" his friend Laceration assured him. "You getting tired Roj?"
"Of course!" Rojeki replied. "It's a long walk through the Nek to get here. Rojeki plucked a murdunk orange from a shrubbery as it passed by him. Using his hunting knife Roj split the orange in two and handed half to Laceration. "I'm almost exhausted." He said smiling and biting into the juicy orange.
"Ouch!" Laceration yelped as a sharp rock dragged beneath his buttocks. "Watch the rocks!" He blurted as Rojeki slapped a hand across Laceration's mouth. Laceration grimaced at his slip of the lips. Rojeki just shook his head in disgust.
"What?" Raddor stopped and turned around to his friends. For a moment, he thought they had disappeared, and he stood staring blankly behind himself. The ogre scratched the back of his neck and happened to look down at his feet. There sat Rojeki and Laceration, crouched on a wide log which was tied to Raddors belt by a thin rope. "What this?" Raddor shouted.
"Uh..uh.huh.. "Laceration tried to think of something.
"Man, I think a gnome snuck up and tied that log onto you!" Rojeki thought up quickly, and smiled innocently at the towering berserker.
"Yeah!" Laceration quickly agreed. "It had to be a gnome. We just tripped on it and fell down here."
"Me hate gnomes. Not even taste good." Raddor grumbled. "Why you no tell Raddor he dragging tree?"
"We didn't notice it." Laceration replied, sounding a bit unsure of himself.
"Yeah, you didn't notice it did you?" Rojeki asked soothingly.
"Me hate gnomes." Raddor repeated and started walking west again.
"Hey aren't you going to take.." Laceration started but Rojeki kicked him in the rear.
"Shhhhh." Rojeki hushed his friend and climbed back on the log.
"Right. Right. Right." Laceration snickered and climbed back on.
The trio of adventurers arrived at the coastline on a small cliff that overlooked the tall forbidding walls of Qeynos. "Why we come here?" Raddor asked his friends, letting loose a tremendous burp.
"To meet a guild mate and give him this armor." Rojeki said holding up a shining robe.
Raddor took the robe from Rojeki and studied it for a moment, then let out a raucous burst of laughter. "This not armor, this rag!"
Rojeki smiled in return at the ogre. "Yes, but that's what these wizards wear." He pulled the robe back from Raddor and tucked it into his belt.
"Who for?" Raddor inquired looking at Qeynos and wondering what there was to eat there.
"Noah." Laceration answered evenly and pulled a hunk of dried meat from his pack, reading the ogre's mind. Raddor took the meat and wolfed it down eagerly. "The little Halfling wizard."
"Halflings taste good." Raddor mumbled through a full mouth.
"Yes, well you know the no eating guild mates rule." Rojeki scolded Raddor. Raddor looked down at his feet disappointed.
"Dumb rule."
"Yeah." Laceration replied getting a sharp look from Rojeki. Laceration just shrugged back at him. "What?" he asked defensively.
"Don't encourage the ogre."
"Hey!" A small figure was rushing at them, waving his staff in the air happily. "Rojeki!" A Halfling was shouting eagerly to them. Rojeki waved and Raddor drew a two-handed sword growling threateningly.
"Rad!!" Laceration admonished Raddor. "It's Noah!!"
"I know!" Raddor replied evenly. "Instinct."
Rojeki slapped his own forehead and sighed as Noah came skidding to a stop in front of them. "Hey, that didn't take too long. I figured it would take you guys a lot longer all the way from Freeport."
"No, Laceration knows the way back and forth very well. His hottie Terrani is from Qeynos." Rojeki grinned. "So, you looking for this?" He pulled the robe from his belt and tossed it at the wizard. Noah admired the cloth with wide eyes. He had indeed been waiting for some decent defensive garb. His old sorcerer robes were getting quite worn and ragged as of late.
"Can I give you something for it?" Noah asked humbly.
"Uhhh.. Nooooo." Laceration sighed. "Why do people always ask that? That's why we have a guild." Noah nodded and kicked at the dirt.
"Give me a leg." Raddor licked his lips smiling. Rojeki punched the ogre in the arm, not that Raddor noticed. "Nahh, you guild. You not for eat." Raddor put his great sword away.
"Well guys I really appreciate this. Coming all this way and everything. I wish there was something I could do in return." The diminished wizard thanked the group.
"In time, friend, all in good time." Laceration reassured him. "Now we have a long walk back."
Noah nodded in agreement and then looked down at the ground behind Raddor, cocking his head to one side in a puzzled manner. "Umm, Raddor, why are you dragging half a tree on a rope?"
Raddor looked at Noah as though he didn't understand him for a moment, and then he remembered the log. The ogre's face twisted in anger and he snatched the log up off the ground. "Damn gnome!" Raddor punched the log, chipping off a chunk of wood with his fist. Noah swallowed nervously at this display of strength.
"Uhhh, that's a log not a gnome Raddor." Noah smiled.
"Me know that! You stupid." Raddor laughed at the Halfling and then threw the large log off the cliff.
"No!" Laceration, Rojeki and Noah all shouted in unison, but it was too late. The ogre vanished over the side of the cliff following the log and rope in a whirl of giant arms and legs.
"Oh. My. God." Laceration grumbled. "Did he just do that?" Rojeki said nothing. He just nodded.
"Just remember what he can do with that great sword when he wants to." Rojeki reminded Laceration.
A splash of water came up over the crest of the cliff then. "Well, at least he hit the water." Noah grinned.
June 5, 2006
