How to get Kicked out of a Guild

etting kicked out of a guild is easy enough, but it is also an art form. Sure, you can spam guild chat, whisper curse words to the officers, give long lectures on why Hitler was the greatest man to ever live, and generally be an ass, but there are much better ways to do it. It is a lot more fun to be sneaky about your mission through things like whispers to "friends" in the guild, negativity, and use the realm forums. I personally enjoy making low levels, getting them into a guild, and then using methods to get them removed from the guild. Better yet, you can often get some of the hotheads in the guild banned for a few days since they will likely message you afterwards with many swears, taunts, and insults. It's a great final slap in the face to the guild that you just turned into a toy for your own amusement, much like a rich and elderly man or woman who marries someone 20 years younger than themselves. There are 3 methods I use when trying to get kicked out of a guild, and I will cover each.

One of my less common ways is the whisper to "friends" method. This is where you whisper to one of the people in the guild you know that is friends with an officer or the GM, and start talking trash about the officer or GM. Occasionally the person will say "that person is my friend" or "I don't want to hear this," but it is rare, since most of them are looking to get someone in trouble themselves, like the kid that just got caught setting fire to the house. This method works the same way as the childhood game, Telephone, in which someone whispers something into your ear and then you whisper into someone else's ear what you just heard. Eventually the story will become far worse, and it will end up at the person it's about. This method is by far the slowest method, requiring somewhere between a week and a month to take full effect. Still, if you like mind games, this is the method for you.

A method I find dangerous but still effective is the realm forum method. Very straight forward, you post garbage on the guild and its members. You can do this straight out with a "Gurubashi Cadavers = Suxxors!" thread, or you can be sneaky by finding threads that already insult the guild and adding to them. My preferred method of insult is the good ol' constructive criticism post. You can insult the guild all you want under the guise of "trying to help," much in the same way that a loan shark tries to help you get out of debt. It's great right now, but in the end it comes back to bite them in the ass. The problem with this method is that you can easily be attacked back and if you get bad enough the Game Masters, the other GMs, may find out and ban you. You can easily avoid this by not getting out of hand though. Much like the police, GMs avoid getting into minor conflicts since there just aren't enough of them to decide who smells more like roses or whose toe is bigger. This method is for the person that likes to do something without looking like they did anything, and it can get you kicked out of the guild in an average of 2 weeks.

The last method, and a personal favorite, is the negativity method. This is where you avoid anything nice, and only point out the bad. This method doesn't even have to be about the guild, you can easily do it with "Shaman are overpowered" arguments in guild chat or any other controversial topics. My personal favorite bit of negativity is complaining about every death. It is fun to play Paladins when you use this method, since they have the ability to avoid death almost entirely. It can be especially fun when you use profanity with your complaints. Just pretend you're a movie star, such as Jennifer Lopez or Michael Moore, infallible and so far above the norm that you are a walking god and you will easily find ways to be negative. You might even be able to release movies, in which you chase down random people and ask them dumb questions, which is loved by half the nation and hated by the other half. This method is the quickest method to get kicked out of a guild, needing only 1 day to a week to take effect, and it's great if you love to find something wrong in everything.

No matter what method you choose, or even what combination of methods you choose, getting kicked out of a guild using these methods will probably be one of the most fun experiences you ever have. You are likely to turn a whole bunch of people into xenophobes who will turn down new members often because they could turn out to be an ass. You might even cause a guild to split apart, creating 2 or more weaker splinter guilds which never pan out. When I do this, I like to think of myself as a manager or a boss. I am here to make the lives of everyone around me harder than necessary and to put a deep hate into the hearts of everyone involved.